Possessed Child Holds Self Ransom for Wii

A tragic and heart breaking story of a young man who goes by the name Yang comes to us from the quaint village of Shangqiu, China this afternoon.

After nearly two years of begging and pleading with his loving parents to purchase a Nintendo Wii console for him he finally cracked. Yang made a call to his two favorite personal anonymous Ninja accomplices, Zhou and Pan and asked them to meet him in the dark alley behind Costco, between the two Starbucks. Together the three of them concocted the perfect criminal scheme that would at long last earn him his very own Nintendo Wii — or would it?

Later that evening the plan was put into action. Zhou distracted Yang’s beloved Father while Pan slipped into Yang’s Father’s bedroom to heist his favorite debit card. Meanwhile Yang himself was waiting outside with the bicycles. Once Zhou and Pan had pilfered the debit card they scampered outside to join Yang. So far so good thought Yang, as they peddled off to their secret hideaway. Next Yang brought out his cell phone and made a call to his father. Filling his voice with panic he explained to his father that he had been kidnapped and that the kidnappers were not going to release him unless he gave the kidnappers the pin number to his debit card which they had stolen to withdraw 10,000 Yuan. Yang’s father gave Yang his pin without hesitation as his sons life was far more meaningful than any amount of money.

The scheme worked flawlessly thought Yang, as his father revealed his pin number. After the call the three young men took off on their bicycles.

Armed with the pin and after riding for what had seemed to be an eternity they had reached their destination. Washington Mutual was already closed as it was already past 8, but the ATM machine stood glowing brightly against the dark red brick wall. Yang took the debit card from Pan and approached the ATM. Yang reached up to – WHAM – from behind a hand with a long blue sleeve grabbed his arm. It was the Shangqiu police. As Yang turned around he saw that Zhou and Pan had already been aprehended.

You see childen, crime doesn’t pay. If your parents wont buy you the latest console – suffer.

The End

Based on an actual event. (link)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.